Letting Go of the Ultimate Dream

My eldest sister is a registered nurse. One of my closest cousins is also a registered nurse. And so I am. However, the main difference is that, my sister and my cousin are both working in the US of A whilst I am here in the Middle East.

One of the main reasons why I entered the nursing profession is the opportunity to work in the “Land of Milk and Honey” in the years to come. I was highly motivated then by the sensational demands of the hospitals in United States for foreign-educated nurses. That’s why I was very studious during my stay in a certain state university in our province (Albay). After four long years, I received my bachelor’s diploma of the university with very high hopes that sooner or later I would be working in some of the first-rate hospitals in America. Then, I took the Nursing Licensure Examination (NLE) few months after graduation and passed it successfully at once because, I know, my mind and heart were focused to my ultimate American dream.

The real ordeals of realizing my ultimate dream start upon receiving my Philippine license to practice nursing. I thought it’s quite easy to pursue my dream to be part of America. But I was wrong. It’s terribly hard. It’s really, really hard.

I applied in one of the government hospital in my hometown as a volunteer nurse though I applied there as staff. At that time, the influx of nursing graduates was starting to swell. In our batch (June 2007 NLE) alone, we were 37,000 plus who successfully passed that exam. Forty thousand plus passed in December 2007, 27,000 plus in June the following year and counting on. The numbers are rapidly increasing so each one of us has little chance to be employed as staff. Whilst on hospital I applied for Certification Program of the CGFNS (Commission on Graduates of Foreign Nursing Schools) and started to review by myself. I was morning shift in the hospital on weekdays and review lessons on weekdays. This was my routine for several months. But since I needed stipend to sustain my financial needs, I worked as private duty nurse to a terminally ill woman at night every week. When my patient expired due to colon cancer, I resumed my normal chores. But then, someone referred me to work as a private duty nurse again to a non-ambulatory stroke woman breathing only in a tube through her trachea. Since this woman requires erratic shift, I gave up the hospital and accepted to care for this special patient. But same as before, I did my responsibility daily and I did my review sessions after my duty. And after another several months I quit my job a month before my CGFNS exam so I could focus on my review. Then few months later, I received my CGFNS exam result as PASSED. 

Here came another test– IELTS, an English language proficiency exam. It’s a must to pass this to obtain the CGFNS certificate which is also needed in applying either the US immigrant or working visa status. And the test result? Though, I passed the overall band score but unluckily I fell a bit short in the interview (speaking) part of the exam. Oh what the heck! To some, this is the easiest part of the exam and I just failed it! So I need to retake the exam again! Although it was very disappointing on my part, I postponed the retake and I resumed my hospital work in another hospital instead. Months passed and I was offered again for a special patient recovering from a post-myocardial infarction with advanced diabetes. In short, I was a private duty nurse again for the nth time after my hospital contract ended. Being a nurse in my own country is awfully tough. Only very few nurses were able to obtain a long contract or genuinely hired by the hospitals. They are called the fortunate ones. However, several numbers of nurses gets hired by government hospitals due to “backer system”. They are called the lucky ones. And how about the thousands of others? They are called the ill-fated ones – including myself!

When I accepted the job offer of my current employer (construction and trading company) based in Qatar as their company nurse, I know beyond my mind that this choice will surely deflect me from my ultimate American dream. But I have no other option. I was compelled to divert my plans to survive from the struggling nursing career in the Philippines. This choice bestowed me uncertainties with regards to the future of my ultimate dream.

Just this week, I stumbled at the news regarding the future of Filipino nurses aspiring to become nurses in America. According to Representative Arnel Ty of LPGMA Party List group, he appealed to the Filipino nurses to forget their ambition to work in the United States. He said the shortage of nurses in America ended in 2011 and retrogression is still apparent. At this time, America has ample supply of US-educated nurses wherein foreign nurses cannot take until 2020. He added that the America alone purportedly produced 938,552 nursing graduates from 2006 until 2011. Thus leaving the Filipino nurses a very tiny chance to work there. He even provided some figures that less and less Filipino nurses are taking the NCLEX (National Council License Examination) nowadays, an affirmation of withdraw of interests by some Filipino nurses to qualify as nurse in America.

This kind of information or reports is not really new to me. I had already accepted the fact that my ultimate American dream is slowly fading away. As soon as I inked my contract to work as a company nurse in the Middle East, I have already given up half of that dream. My utmost concern at this time is to grab any opportunity along my way. It might not be as good as what my sister and my cousin get, but at least I am doing my best to utilize my profession. I know this ultimate dream is not yet the right time for me to chase which is somewhat elusive and uncooperative to my own plans. That ‘right time’ might not be too sooner or later. Kung kelan? I really don’t know. Only God knows when..

Happy Easter Everyone!

Image taken from Wikipedia

Let’s rejoice for Jesus Christ has risen! He has risen indeed! All Christians believed that Jesus was crucified then died and after three days he resurrected, ascended to heaven and seated at the right hand of God the Father. As a Christian these incidents are very crucial to my own belief and faith to God. This is the fundamental concept why I choose to become and will always be a Christian by heart.

But did you know the Muslims have contradicting belief with regard to the Jesus resurrection? Staying and working in a country wherein Islam is a dominant religion, I acquired a little bit knowledge and views of Muslims with regard to Jesus resurrection. Sometimes I couldn’t escape to tackle with my Safety Officer (an Egyptian and Muslim) some religious topics like this. According to him (based from the Quran), Jesus is not a God but only a messenger of God just like their prophet Mohammad. They have a doubt if Jesus was really crucified or not but they were really sure that Jesus never died. But they believed God (Allah) lifted him to heaven to his presence.

It’s really hard to balance which one is really the truth. But for me, one thing is for sure, FAITH really matters. Exposure to the country wherein religions are multiple, only my faith to God would keep me from going on – appreciating my life and living the most of it with others will make the difference. Have a happy Easter Sunday to all!

EARTH HOUR 2012

Celebrate Earth Hour with this music video from Cassie :))

March 29

March 29 – It’s already past 8 AM in my wrist watch when the Etihad Airways landed in Doha International Airport. Inside the plane, my feeling is mixed – eagerly excited and glad but at the same time quite apprehended and tensed because this is my first time to work in a foreign country. All my life, I was always been a homebody – who never tried working away from the vicinity of my province.

During the early weeks of February, I inked the two-year contract accepting the position as one of the company nurse from a certain trading and construction company in Qatar through my agency in the Philippines. Then this March 29, here I am, I am going to venture my future as an Overseas Filipino Worker (OFW). I am a little bit exhausted then when my feet set first on the vast ground of the airport. I, together with my fellow nurse and a heavy equipment driver, followed the group of people straightly going to the arrival area of DIA. As I am approaching the arrival area, I made it sure that my documents are intact and complete. The security guard in the door looked at my papers and signaled me okay as he handed my papers back to me.  I asked to myself, Is that all? Perhaps the guard failed to check my backpack and belongings. I thought he would let me open my backpack to check what’s inside my bag.  Thus, I watch him how he do such to others. Really, this man is a complete opposite of the one being exampled by the speaker during our Pre-Departure Orientation Seminar or PDOS. She said, Arab nations are strictly implementing its tough security measures regarding the stuffs of its incoming expatriates. Pirated CD/DVDs, pornographic videos/images from mobile phones, images of Jesus Christ and Holy Rosary, and pork meats are considered illegal. I expect the guard would examine our bags one by one but it turns out not. Medyo napa-overacting lang yata sa seminar si madam ah! Sayang yung mga dinelete kong files sa cell phone ko! Hehe. Anyways, I approached the booth of the immigration personnel, who seems an Arab woman. She greeted me and I did the same. She asked for my papers and I handed it down which is for some final verification. She glanced at me for few seconds and turned back to her computer and typed some data. Just few minutes later, she signaled me okay.

As I entered the lobby of the waiting area, I looked up at the wall clock, it’s past 4 AM. So I adjusted my watch properly to sync with country’s current time zone. The plane almost took 12 hours to bring us halfway around the globe. Uh! Such a long trip! As we sit on the waiting area of the lobby, a lot of things linger on in my mind. Simple questions such as: Who will pick us up and what would he look like? Is my company would be a good employer to us? Where would be our first duty? Is our forthcoming working site huge? Is our accommodation good? Are there also Filipinos in the company? Is Qatar would be an enjoyable place for me? Do the company really aware we will arrive today? Are they going to fetched us up? What time will they go here? My eyes momentarily stared to my 2 buddies; I guess their minds were at ease unlike with mine. They keep on talking with each other about their own experiences way back when they were in the Saudi. From time to time I join to their conversations but most of the times I just listen. However, as it seems my mind just doesn’t comprehend well. It is focused to its own queries.

Doha street at night (taken from www.flickr.com/photos/lostinsky/)

It’s quite hard to be a first timer. Everything is new to your naked eyes and my mind is busy absorbing these kinds of unfamiliar things. I couldn’t help but to compare Doha and its international airport to Metro Manila and its NAIA as we left and passed by the streets of Doha going to our company’s main office where we will meet up with the HR manager later. My initial remarks to Doha so far are: 1) the international airport is not crowded, exceptionally neat and impressive; 2) no traffic – less vehicles are travelling the streets at that time; 3) the roads are well lighted by the lamp posts stretching each sides of the street; 4) roughly no one are walking around the streets; and 5) the buildings are tall but slim and have bizarre designs and structures. These observations are clearly different as compared to Metro Manila’s present condition.

All these things transpired exactly on March 29, 2011 – One year na ako sa Qatar!

Recipe 102: Mixed Vegetables with Chicken Liver

 

Mixed vegetables w/ Chicken Liver

One of the best dishes I love to eat is chopsuey. But since here in Qatar where I stay is too far from the supermarkets were most of the vegetables are available, I have to make some variation to the original chopsuey menu. I often make this kind of dish if I am already fed up of meat foods.

The vegetables I used in this particular recipe are the ones only available in the market where I buy the stuffs. The veggies may seem incomplete as compared to chopsuey but the result is so satisfying.

Ingredients:

Chicken Liver

Cabbage – cut into medium size squares

Green String Beans – cut into considerable length

Carrots – cut into pieces

Green Bell Pepper – cut into squares

Green Chili

Snow Peas

Onion - minced

Garlic – cut into pieces

Salt and Pepper

Fish Sauce

How to Cook:

1.  Sauté onion and garlic in a pan for few minutes.

2.  Place in chicken liver and fry until the chicken liver oil comes out and the liver is cooked.

3.  Add the carrots and simmer for few minutes. Then add bell pepper, snow peas, chili, and string beans at once. Season with fish sauce, salt and pepper. Mix from time to time (Put little amount of water if it dries).

4.  Put in the cabbage and simmer for another few minutes until cabbage is coked (fyi: cabbage is usually placed last because it is easily cooked unlike the other ingredients).

5.  Serve hot with fried or plain rice.

Enjoy your Mixed Vegetables with Chicken Liver!!!

Recipe 101 : Ginataang Papaya

Ginataang Papaya topped with green Chili

One of the things I love to do is eating cooking. I guess this kind of interest might be rooted because of my father. When my father was still alive, he knew how to cook lot of dishes and through the years of serving meals for his kids, I used to learn his recipes and style. This is the soul of my love to cooking; whenever I cook, I remember him as well.

Anyways, I am a native of Bicol so we used to cook almost any vegetables in coconut milk or in ‘Gata’. This one is called ‘Ginataang Papaya’ mixed with dried fish. Actually, you can substitute sardines, pork or chicken meat, leftover fried fish, or shrimps instead of dried fish. It does really depend upon your choice. This is just very easy and here’s how to do it:

Ingredients (Middle East Version):

1 Green Papaya (medium size) – peeled and cut into serving pieces

Coconut Powder (since it’s uncommon to find fresh coco milk here in the Mideast you may use the powder one) – dissolved in a 300-500ml of warm water until thick

Dried Fish – or any meat substitute

3-4 Cloves of Garlic - minced

1 Onion – cut in pieces

Pepper

Salt

1 tsp Bagoong (Optional)

2-3 Green Chili (Optional)

How to Cook:

1.  In a pan, pour the coconut milk. Add garlic, onion, dried fish, bagoong, and bring to boil.

2.  Put in the papaya.

3.  Season it with pepper and salt. Place in chili. Simmer over medium heat until papaya is slightly soft and the milk thickens.

4.  Serve hot with plain rice and fried fish.

Enjoy your Ginataang Papaya!!!

This recipe is good for 3-4 persons already. Next time, I will post another menu I usually cooked here in Qatar.

Note: if you want a much thicker sauce (milk), dissolve a separate coco powder in 100ml warm water and add this one once the papaya is soft. Then simmer for another few minutes.

Remembering Don Alfonso

Remembering Don Alfonso

Last Thursday night, March 2, when I was sitting in the mid part of the Karwa bus going to Doha Souq (market) to meet my old time friend who is based in Doha, a man sitting in the opposite side (2 rows in front of me) caught my attention. He was alone, sitting nearest to the window. He seems a Lebanese, maybe in his late 50s, and considerably bald. I was tempted to take some shots of him secretly.  His looks reminds me of someone who in one way or another touch my life and one of the humblest person I have ever met.

The stranger i saw inside the bus who looks like Don Alfonso

Way back November, 2009, someone called me up asking if could work as a private duty nurse to Don Alfonso Bichara. He told me that he is a nurse and a close friend of mine recommended me to him. He was going to Abu Dhabi next month and he needs someone to replace him. At that time, I just finished my 6-month training in a certain regional hospital so I considered the work. First, I was having a second thought considering the profile of the patient and his family. He was in post-myocardial infarction period and with serious diabetes mellitus as well.  But what bothers me most was his life’s status. He was the former vice governor of our province, his eldest son was a present member of the House of Representatives, and his family was well-known across the region. However, inside my head it was uttering, it’s a calling; why not give it a try?

I was interviewed then by his youngest daughter inside the hotel they owned and fortunately, I passed her standards. Afterwards, I was introduced personally to my soon to be patient, Don Alfonso and his immediate family. The work would be a 12-hour duty daily and shifting with another nurse. And how about the stipend? Hmmm I would say it’s more than reasonable :)

On the next day, my shift started and it began awkwardly. I was roughly tongue-tied the whole shift doing only what is ought to to be done. I barely initiated some of the conversations and I only focused to the medications, his needs and his safety. Parang nakikiramdam lang muna ako sa paligid. Don Alfonso looks younger at his age of 86 - with superb fair thin-skinned, with a hawk-like nose, with a thinning grey-hair on his head and had a medium-type body frame. He is a naturalized Filipino with a Lebanese descent.

He was often called by his friends and acquaintances as Boss (they used to call him that for his fluency to Spanish language). In the span of my 4 months of giving special care to him, gradually, I learned to know him very well. He was well respected by his family and friends. He was strong and vibrant in spite of his old age. He never failed to pray the rosary before sleeping and after waking up. Maybe that’s why his spiritual faith provided him the strength and positive outlook in life. Most of the time, he tried to convince me to do the same. He loved joking around with us and his family. His wife, we used to call her as Bossa, was on his side at all times. I witnessed how much Don Alfonso loved his wife and so Bossa. How sweet they always said “I love you” and then kissed each other before Don Alfonso went to bed. What a perfect couple to look at!

What I most admired to Don Alfonso was his being humble and generous. One time, when we were sitting at the hotel patio, a beggar approached the hotel espresso bar (located at the side of the hotel where we sit) and kept on looking the displays inside of the bar. Don Alfonso noticed that so he told me to call that person. He put his hand inside his pocket and told me to hand the money to the beggar. I witnessed a lot of the same incidents where he provided help to those ill-fated ones. Indeed he had a very helping heart.

Due to his serious medical condition (post-stroke and advance stage of diabetes), we never allow him to do extraneous jobs such as walking for long hours, taking the stairs and lifting moderate to heavy objects. So far, he obeyed his limitations. He was also concerned with his health.

New Year came, and Boss asked his doctor if he could stay at their family home instead at the hotel. His doctor agreed but with a condition to have a weekly check up in the hospital. In short, we went to their family house (1-hour trip away from the hotel) the following the day. I saw from his face how he missed his old home; his old household routine. I learned that when he was still hale and hearty, he loved doing mechanical chores inside his shop. He made useful thing out of metal scraps to fix broken appliances, chairs, shelves, keys, and many more. He had a very skillful hand, too.

Days passed, and the days turned to weeks and to months. Our duty went okay and the condition of Don Alfonso was agreeably stable. Until, one early morning (March 4, 2010), the other nurse called me up in my phone that Boss already passed away. He said, Boss experienced chest pains (indication of imminent heart attack) while praying his early morn rosary routine. He said he tried to revive him by giving CPR but the patient’s response was negative. So they decided to send him immediately to the hospital but the several doctors’ attempted to revive his pale body was not enough to bring back his breath and heart beat. At that time, my world seems it stopped and I couldn’t believe the news. A night before that incident, we even played the chess (his favorite board game) and he was very thankful because I knew how to play the game. At least daw, may iba na syang libangan besides reading the newspaper, watching old movies, and listening to his all time favorite old music. That was the worst news I ever heard at that time!

while we play his favorite board game

Life was really full of surprises. One may never know the end of the string for a one’s life. But I was convinced; the passing away of Don Alfonso Bichara was not a complete loss to his family and friends because he lived his life to the fullest. He lived his life worthy and righteously. His dying even made his siblings, sons and daughters stronger, closer, and more united to each others. I saw how many flowers were sent and countless people arrived in their house during his wake to show their sympathy and prayers to his family. He marked a legacy to the lives of others which will always be remembered by anyone – someone like me!

Bookmark Souvenir from his family

Epilogue: After Boss' interment, his sons and daughters decided to retain us and be the private duty nurses of Bossa, their mother. I stayed for another 12 months more to the Bichara Family before i decided to take my chance here in Qatar. My stay with them was one of the most memorable thing i have experienced as a PDN.