Remembering Don Alfonso

Remembering Don Alfonso

Last Thursday night, March 2, when I was sitting in the mid part of the Karwa bus going to Doha Souq (market) to meet my old time friend who is based in Doha, a man sitting in the opposite side (2 rows in front of me) caught my attention. He was alone, sitting nearest to the window. He seems a Lebanese, maybe in his late 50s, and considerably bald. I was tempted to take some shots of him secretly.  His looks reminds me of someone who in one way or another touch my life and one of the humblest person I have ever met.

The stranger i saw inside the bus who looks like Don Alfonso

Way back November, 2009, someone called me up asking if could work as a private duty nurse to Don Alfonso Bichara. He told me that he is a nurse and a close friend of mine recommended me to him. He was going to Abu Dhabi next month and he needs someone to replace him. At that time, I just finished my 6-month training in a certain regional hospital so I considered the work. First, I was having a second thought considering the profile of the patient and his family. He was in post-myocardial infarction period and with serious diabetes mellitus as well.  But what bothers me most was his life’s status. He was the former vice governor of our province, his eldest son was a present member of the House of Representatives, and his family was well-known across the region. However, inside my head it was uttering, it’s a calling; why not give it a try?

I was interviewed then by his youngest daughter inside the hotel they owned and fortunately, I passed her standards. Afterwards, I was introduced personally to my soon to be patient, Don Alfonso and his immediate family. The work would be a 12-hour duty daily and shifting with another nurse. And how about the stipend? Hmmm I would say it’s more than reasonable :)

On the next day, my shift started and it began awkwardly. I was roughly tongue-tied the whole shift doing only what is ought to to be done. I barely initiated some of the conversations and I only focused to the medications, his needs and his safety. Parang nakikiramdam lang muna ako sa paligid. Don Alfonso looks younger at his age of 86 - with superb fair thin-skinned, with a hawk-like nose, with a thinning grey-hair on his head and had a medium-type body frame. He is a naturalized Filipino with a Lebanese descent.

He was often called by his friends and acquaintances as Boss (they used to call him that for his fluency to Spanish language). In the span of my 4 months of giving special care to him, gradually, I learned to know him very well. He was well respected by his family and friends. He was strong and vibrant in spite of his old age. He never failed to pray the rosary before sleeping and after waking up. Maybe that’s why his spiritual faith provided him the strength and positive outlook in life. Most of the time, he tried to convince me to do the same. He loved joking around with us and his family. His wife, we used to call her as Bossa, was on his side at all times. I witnessed how much Don Alfonso loved his wife and so Bossa. How sweet they always said “I love you” and then kissed each other before Don Alfonso went to bed. What a perfect couple to look at!

What I most admired to Don Alfonso was his being humble and generous. One time, when we were sitting at the hotel patio, a beggar approached the hotel espresso bar (located at the side of the hotel where we sit) and kept on looking the displays inside of the bar. Don Alfonso noticed that so he told me to call that person. He put his hand inside his pocket and told me to hand the money to the beggar. I witnessed a lot of the same incidents where he provided help to those ill-fated ones. Indeed he had a very helping heart.

Due to his serious medical condition (post-stroke and advance stage of diabetes), we never allow him to do extraneous jobs such as walking for long hours, taking the stairs and lifting moderate to heavy objects. So far, he obeyed his limitations. He was also concerned with his health.

New Year came, and Boss asked his doctor if he could stay at their family home instead at the hotel. His doctor agreed but with a condition to have a weekly check up in the hospital. In short, we went to their family house (1-hour trip away from the hotel) the following the day. I saw from his face how he missed his old home; his old household routine. I learned that when he was still hale and hearty, he loved doing mechanical chores inside his shop. He made useful thing out of metal scraps to fix broken appliances, chairs, shelves, keys, and many more. He had a very skillful hand, too.

Days passed, and the days turned to weeks and to months. Our duty went okay and the condition of Don Alfonso was agreeably stable. Until, one early morning (March 4, 2010), the other nurse called me up in my phone that Boss already passed away. He said, Boss experienced chest pains (indication of imminent heart attack) while praying his early morn rosary routine. He said he tried to revive him by giving CPR but the patient’s response was negative. So they decided to send him immediately to the hospital but the several doctors’ attempted to revive his pale body was not enough to bring back his breath and heart beat. At that time, my world seems it stopped and I couldn’t believe the news. A night before that incident, we even played the chess (his favorite board game) and he was very thankful because I knew how to play the game. At least daw, may iba na syang libangan besides reading the newspaper, watching old movies, and listening to his all time favorite old music. That was the worst news I ever heard at that time!

while we play his favorite board game

Life was really full of surprises. One may never know the end of the string for a one’s life. But I was convinced; the passing away of Don Alfonso Bichara was not a complete loss to his family and friends because he lived his life to the fullest. He lived his life worthy and righteously. His dying even made his siblings, sons and daughters stronger, closer, and more united to each others. I saw how many flowers were sent and countless people arrived in their house during his wake to show their sympathy and prayers to his family. He marked a legacy to the lives of others which will always be remembered by anyone – someone like me!

Bookmark Souvenir from his family

Epilogue: After Boss' interment, his sons and daughters decided to retain us and be the private duty nurses of Bossa, their mother. I stayed for another 12 months more to the Bichara Family before i decided to take my chance here in Qatar. My stay with them was one of the most memorable thing i have experienced as a PDN.