Letting Go of the Ultimate Dream

My eldest sister is a registered nurse. One of my closest cousins is also a registered nurse. And so I am. However, the main difference is that, my sister and my cousin are both working in the US of A whilst I am here in the Middle East.

One of the main reasons why I entered the nursing profession is the opportunity to work in the “Land of Milk and Honey” in the years to come. I was highly motivated then by the sensational demands of the hospitals in United States for foreign-educated nurses. That’s why I was very studious during my stay in a certain state university in our province (Albay). After four long years, I received my bachelor’s diploma of the university with very high hopes that sooner or later I would be working in some of the first-rate hospitals in America. Then, I took the Nursing Licensure Examination (NLE) few months after graduation and passed it successfully at once because, I know, my mind and heart were focused to my ultimate American dream.

The real ordeals of realizing my ultimate dream start upon receiving my Philippine license to practice nursing. I thought it’s quite easy to pursue my dream to be part of America. But I was wrong. It’s terribly hard. It’s really, really hard.

I applied in one of the government hospital in my hometown as a volunteer nurse though I applied there as staff. At that time, the influx of nursing graduates was starting to swell. In our batch (June 2007 NLE) alone, we were 37,000 plus who successfully passed that exam. Forty thousand plus passed in December 2007, 27,000 plus in June the following year and counting on. The numbers are rapidly increasing so each one of us has little chance to be employed as staff. Whilst on hospital I applied for Certification Program of the CGFNS (Commission on Graduates of Foreign Nursing Schools) and started to review by myself. I was morning shift in the hospital on weekdays and review lessons on weekdays. This was my routine for several months. But since I needed stipend to sustain my financial needs, I worked as private duty nurse to a terminally ill woman at night every week. When my patient expired due to colon cancer, I resumed my normal chores. But then, someone referred me to work as a private duty nurse again to a non-ambulatory stroke woman breathing only in a tube through her trachea. Since this woman requires erratic shift, I gave up the hospital and accepted to care for this special patient. But same as before, I did my responsibility daily and I did my review sessions after my duty. And after another several months I quit my job a month before my CGFNS exam so I could focus on my review. Then few months later, I received my CGFNS exam result as PASSED. 

Here came another test– IELTS, an English language proficiency exam. It’s a must to pass this to obtain the CGFNS certificate which is also needed in applying either the US immigrant or working visa status. And the test result? Though, I passed the overall band score but unluckily I fell a bit short in the interview (speaking) part of the exam. Oh what the heck! To some, this is the easiest part of the exam and I just failed it! So I need to retake the exam again! Although it was very disappointing on my part, I postponed the retake and I resumed my hospital work in another hospital instead. Months passed and I was offered again for a special patient recovering from a post-myocardial infarction with advanced diabetes. In short, I was a private duty nurse again for the nth time after my hospital contract ended. Being a nurse in my own country is awfully tough. Only very few nurses were able to obtain a long contract or genuinely hired by the hospitals. They are called the fortunate ones. However, several numbers of nurses gets hired by government hospitals due to “backer system”. They are called the lucky ones. And how about the thousands of others? They are called the ill-fated ones – including myself!

When I accepted the job offer of my current employer (construction and trading company) based in Qatar as their company nurse, I know beyond my mind that this choice will surely deflect me from my ultimate American dream. But I have no other option. I was compelled to divert my plans to survive from the struggling nursing career in the Philippines. This choice bestowed me uncertainties with regards to the future of my ultimate dream.

Just this week, I stumbled at the news regarding the future of Filipino nurses aspiring to become nurses in America. According to Representative Arnel Ty of LPGMA Party List group, he appealed to the Filipino nurses to forget their ambition to work in the United States. He said the shortage of nurses in America ended in 2011 and retrogression is still apparent. At this time, America has ample supply of US-educated nurses wherein foreign nurses cannot take until 2020. He added that the America alone purportedly produced 938,552 nursing graduates from 2006 until 2011. Thus leaving the Filipino nurses a very tiny chance to work there. He even provided some figures that less and less Filipino nurses are taking the NCLEX (National Council License Examination) nowadays, an affirmation of withdraw of interests by some Filipino nurses to qualify as nurse in America.

This kind of information or reports is not really new to me. I had already accepted the fact that my ultimate American dream is slowly fading away. As soon as I inked my contract to work as a company nurse in the Middle East, I have already given up half of that dream. My utmost concern at this time is to grab any opportunity along my way. It might not be as good as what my sister and my cousin get, but at least I am doing my best to utilize my profession. I know this ultimate dream is not yet the right time for me to chase which is somewhat elusive and uncooperative to my own plans. That ‘right time’ might not be too sooner or later. Kung kelan? I really don’t know. Only God knows when..